22 hours

I didn't think Mike was going to be coming home this weekend, so imagine my surprise yesterday when he called and said he'd be home around 4 a.m. Sunday morning! He had been working in Michigan the last 2 weeks and didn't think he'd be home any time soon, so it was a pleasant, if bittersweet, surprise. the reason I say bittersweet is because he would only be home for 22 hours before going on the road again.

For those of you who don't know, Mike is a foreman of a seal-coating crew that travels around Wisconsin and Michigan. There are many times he's not home for weeks, so when he gets to come home on a weekend, it's a special occasion. Especially this year, since his crew is doing a lot of work in lower Michigan.

Of course being an assistant manager at a bar and grill, I have to work most weekends, so many times when Mike is home, I'm at work. So he has to come to my work to see me. Needless to say, we don't get much time together in the summer. And it's very, very hard.

Mike and I went to bed tonight around 10:30, and had to get up at 1 a.m. to send him off on the road again. Luckily, he was able to sleep this morning from about 4 a.m. to 2 p.m. while I was at work. The rest of our time was spent doing his work laundry, dinner, a little berry-picking and deer-looking, then off to bed. It sure doesn't leave much time for communicating, which can be extremely frustrating.

I talk to Mike maybe 5 minutes a day by phone if I'm lucky. Most of the time, he doesn't have time to talk on the phone. He and his crew work dawn til dark, and many times he's working many hours after dark on paper work. He's lucky to get 4 hours of sleep a night. So when I'm tired and cranky, I think of that and feel a little spoiled. But he makes up for it in the winter, let me tell you ;)

Being on the road this year has been extremely hard on Mike, since it's so rare that he gets to come home. When he was made foreman of the Northwest Wisconsin crew, we were so excited because we thought that meant he'd be home more. But this year, that crew is responsible for most of the Michigan work since the company has been selling more and more work there, so he is rarely home even on the weekends.

Being married to a road worker is very hard, much more difficult than I ever imagined. I knew what I was getting into, but I never knew it would be this hard. I know it's terribly difficult for Mike to be away from home, from me, from his beloved dogs. And it makes him irritable at best. But I only know how it makes me feel since I'm not him. There are days I'm so frustrated with him and his lack of concern or lack of listening skills that I just want to reach through the phone and slap him. But I understand. He's so busy when he's gone that he has no time for anything else, and that includes what's going on at home. So I have to suck it up, tell him only the good things since he can't do anything about the things that go wrong, and hope that everything is going well for him on his end. I have become quite adept at dealing with septic, plumbing, flooding, technological, financial, natural disaster, you name it, issues. I don't do it all alone of course. I have great friends (especially Derek) and family who are there for me through thick and thin.

The one reason it's so hard for me is that I feel terribly abandoned when he's gone, even though I know he has to work, that he doesn't want to be gone, that he's doing it for us and our future. Since he's so short on time and patience in the summer and is so unbelievably stressed out and under major deadlines, I have to keep conversations simple, short and sweet. I can never vent, never tell him what's going wrong or what's going right. A lot of times my feelings are left in the dust and even though I know they matter to him deep down, in the summer, I will always be second fiddle. His temper is very short in the summer due to all this stress, so sometimes we don't communicate so well and disagreements erupt. It's hard to duke out a disagreement over the phone! But somehow we manage and always come to understand each other's points of view on things...but it is not easy. When he is home, much of that time is spent catching up on needed sleep.

Many people ask me if I ever wonder if he is cheating on me while on the road, and while I know that is an occurance in some cases, I never wonder that about Mike. Oh believe me, when we were first together, I was paranoid and worried to no end. But this many years together has taught me that he would never do that to me. He is faithful and true. He works hard so our future is bright. Plus, like he says, when in the hell would he have time? Being a road worker wife requires bushels of faith, security, self-esteem and most of all, trust. And he knows he doesn't have to worry about me. I have oodles of close guy friends and he knows that, but to me, they are all like the brothers I never had. Plus my beliefs would never allow me to do something like that. I could never live with myself, no matter how much we may disagree sometimes. Being apart is tough, but I know he'll always come home to me and me alone. And even though we're like oil and water sometimes, I will always come home to him. If we can get through what we've already gone through in this life together, we can get through anything. And my belief in God is a huge part of that.

So while I wait for summer to wind down and head toward my favorite seasons (fall and winter!!), I will keep busy doing what I do. Work, work and more work, spending time with my favorite fur babies, going on my long walks, reading, writing for the paper, helping my family, and spending time with my wonderful friends. And soon we will be through another summer road work season and Mike will be home all day long driving me insane playing his incessant video games, talking non-stop about deer, hunting and more deer and messing up my beautifully clean house :) And that is the life of a road worker's wife. Everyone has tough things to get through in this life and summer is mine.

I'm going to try to go back to bed now, now that I've seen Mike safely off to work. This week is supposed to be super hot and it feels like we're in the Amazon, so I sincerely hope the heat is not too tough on Mike and his crew. When I feel cranky about being hot, I just have to think about them, toiling away in the hot sun for 12+ hours and day and I don't feel so bad for myself. Just think, soon it will be snowing and cold and the best season of the year!!